Sunday, August 31, 2008
yes i need a new blogskin. not that i dont support man u anymore, but i just realise the passion isn there anymore. heh. any one has nice ones to suggest?
manchesterunited 12:09 AM
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Friday, August 29, 2008
first blog post with lappie! yay thanks be to God! =)
manchesterunited 4:27 PM
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Friday, August 22, 2008
long talk with my two pastors at church today. a lot of conflicting opinions from a lot of different people, regarding my life as i step into this new phase. being critical to what i listen to is something that grips my mind now. permeats my framework of understanding this world of academia. priortization. it takes on a ugly tint when i used it before, but so essiential now. unlimited wants, limited resources. applies to ministry, energy, effort, time as well. is a campus-based fellowship really that worthless, that i should just shun, when i recognize it's role in advancing the kingdom of God, no matter how small my understanding may be? a break from the usual economics definition though; i'm not out to maximise my own profit margin, but to gain utility by living according to the will of the Lord. will the economist label me as rational? would i really care?
the only time that i'd "let my guard down" now, to not think of whether something is right, correct, or trustable, is when i read the Bible. i pray that God will speak to me through His Word above this cacophony of voices, regarding my direction in my ministry in general, and vcf in particular.
manchesterunited 12:00 AM
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
yes i think the ending to the last post wasnt very good/funny but well it said what i wanted said at that moment so i shall leave it as it is.
today after prayer meet, a lil conversation with marcus unlocks a lot of thoughts within me.
i have this BIG tendency to misquote people. i think. ahhhh. okay to start off, i have a terrible memory. and well i can blame the tower of babel if i want to too. my first thought: when i say that "this is what XYZ said to me" it is actually more accurate to say that "this is what i remember XYZ telling me". as in what the guy is really telling me may not be what i rmb, or what i bring away with me. so even now, as i tell marcus what this senior told me, i am not so sure that he actually said those things to me, it's just what i THINK he is telling me. do you get what i'm trying to say?! haha. i was quite clear about what i wanted to say just now but because of the delay at getting thought to print, eh no, thought to pixel, i lost my means of expression. rawr. when's my new laptop coming. okay sorry i digressed.
oh yeah. okay so back to the topic. cause i rmb talking to this senior about how does one reconcile biblical teachings to secular theories being taught in sch. what i brought away with me and thus shared with marcus was that well
1) you need a biblical foundation, on which to set all yout thinking
2) study the theories learnt, identify whether they fit into this foundation
3) throw away irrelevant theories when the module's over.
after tonight, if you ask me again, i would say that points one and two can stand, but point 3 can be, well as it says so itself, be thrown away.
summary of what marcus told me! refer to my paragraph on misquoting people above haha. or maybe i shld just say this is what i personally think now. yes. all mistakes in the following section are mine alone.
that yes, it is important to have a biblical foundation, which is the framework in which we look at and understand what's going on in God's creation in which we live in, and yes, we need to be critical of things that we study, and evaluate them before we decide that they fit into the fore-mentioned biblical framework, but no, we dont have to throw away irrelevant theories.
the reason: there are no theory that's silly enough in academia (at least, i hope not) to not be discussed seriously. in the same way that we look at and evaluate other religions and doctrines, there will be positive aspects that we can identify with, that Christianity can agree upon (i cant think of any good examples offhand, i know i wont be able to sleep easy tonight as a result of this rawr), and that there will be disagreement, with problems in the human condition, and how to solve them. when we see such disagreements, there is no need to discard or dismiss them out of hand, as we realise that well altho they come from fallen human beings, these theories are still being generated from a God-given brain, and that they bring out legitimate reasons and factors to explain for example pain and suffering, or social phenomena. when faced with such pointers, what we can, and should, do as Christians, is to go back to the Bible and see what our biblical worldview has to say about them, and what solutions do the Christian worldview has to offer.
off to print readings for PS1101E. rawr. i wonder how this feeling of being a mugger (feels very out of character by the way) will actually last. hmmm.
manchesterunited 11:21 PM
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008
there's this thing that has beem nagging at me the whole day today, to such an extent that i was listless and unenthusiastic about getting anything done, be it reading readings, typing articles, or even to play psp. as i stood in the shower just now i thought it through, and now that i've identified the source of this, i need to get this off my chest.
ytd during vcf cg (it was a great time of fellowship yay!) we were playing this game, where everyone had to say one true thing and one false thing regarding our childhoods and the rest had to guess which's the lie. so samuel and i started first cause the seniors couldnt really think heh. the best thing was to think of two things that were equally plausible, so the two choices that i put up was 1) i was born into a christian family, 2) i learnt lion dance in primary sch. well for those of you who read this space you alr know the answer yah. becca and minxun commented that my choice for the first choice was on a "sensitive topic" but i was like, yeah, but i'm okay with it being known, and so since i told you all, you guys can also help pray that i'd be able to bring my mom for rev tong's gospel rally.
but as i think more about it today, i wasnt so sure anymore if i wasnt a hypocrite, that i accused others of rejecting the gospel offhandedly, while i myself rejected the hope that my parents will one day accept the gospel. the way that i made it sound last night, it's almost as if that i'm resigned to the fact that my parents will always be lost to sin, and the worst horror of all,
i dont seem to feel anything about that.
i pray that this burden for my parents' salvation will always be with me, that i'm always mindful and conscious of this fact that my parents are not saved yet, and that i must always do my part to live out Christ in my family. auntie biqing's sermon on the family was very much harder for me to digest, compared to rev lai's on serving my country, for i know i've done a way better job at the latter than the former, and that it is a struggle that, unlike NS, will not go away after a few years. and thus, please pray for my parents, and also, for my apathetic nature to change.
chris martin sings in 'the scientist': "nobody says it was easy"
but Christ Jesus says in Matthew 17:20 "...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
manchesterunited 2:28 PM
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shao:
well you realise that the post is good, all because it's mostly God speaking? i didnt use any of my words what haha. yeah and anyway emotions were running high for me as well: it's not just anger, but a mix of that, and bewilderment, sadness, disappointing, at this very real confrontation of the hardness of man's hearts and the rejection of the gospel, especially when understood not in a theoratical sense, but happening to frens that you care about and you really hope and pray that they'd accept this greatest gift ever that you're a partaker of...
okay this sentence is way too long haha. but yeah, emotions were running high in me (rare right) so i didnt dare to say anything myself... i was afraid that whatever that came out from me would cause serious, irrepairable damge. and so i could only turn back to the Word of the Lord, and see what He says about everything.
i wont exactly call it a "problem lately", i guess, as this has threatened to blowover for quite awhile now. jane has been reminding me quite a lot of times that i've been not going for a2 stuff because of church stuff; and while she understands, the rest are not as forgiving. and i guess it's worse for me, because this is a behavioural change, from the old jerry that a2 knew; as the one that was very "on", one of the 4 rocks in the "castle koppies", always there for them whenever there was an event, even if it means going out every saturday night for either LAN or clubbing or whatever. this "recent" change may thus be harder for them to swallow. and this situation may thus be misintepreted that i've 'fallen away' from a2, that i've grown cold in my affection for this class, and well, it may even be that a2 is 'jealous', whether they wish to admit it or not.
but like what aaron says, the real reason behind my change in behaviour is precisely something that people without a sense of religion will never understand, or want to understand. as in the latest scenerio, a person may be able to sprout his stands on morals, brotherhood, loyalty, and friendship, without having/wanting to think about what all his opinions and thinking are actually based/built on. this is the reason why, when i told jane that the only reason that i've skipped a2 gatherings was for church, and nothing else, she said that well that's not really good enough for a2, for they dont see that i've still placed them higher above other cliques, they only see that i'm not putting a2 at the top of my list anymore.
but if God was at the top of that list, would anybody dare claim to be higher than Him in my heart?
yeah well i wonder when's the next time you're going to read my blog again haha, but yes please pray for me, as how i handle this situation is also a very big part of how i actually witness Christ to a2. if they see God as only something that takes jerry away from them, then i'd have failed miserably and shamed His name. and it just so happens that well you know quite a lot of them alr so i guess you'd be able to notice the extent of this problem?
but this is a good trial for me to be going through la, to be confident that God will lead me thru, and mould me in the process.
FA:
haha hey, if i just left the chapter and verse there i doubt pple will actually make the effort to go look for them. as in the subjects that i'm responding to, if they ever read this space la. and yes i do agree with your second line; it's precisely this offhanded-ness that this dismissal was done in that is chilling to my heart. i hope you do see what i'm driving at.
and no worries, i'd be there for your 21st bash haha.
manchesterunited 12:18 AM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
after a heated discussion online with codename tango, yes i indeed went to look into the Bible for some answers.
on charlie's notion that "you just have to put him first in ur heart" and that your actions dont count (intrestingly tango acknowledge the cliche "actions speak louder than words" to be true, albeit in a different context, of course.):
"Faith and Deeds
What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." -James 2:14-26
on over-quoting the Bible ("the way u're talking now. even i abit bth. when we converse dun have to come out all the bible phrases de"):
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." -Psalm 119:105
on significance of birthdays:
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."
-Psalm 139:14
on not appreciating what one have:
"The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want." -Psalm 23:1
"Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this." -Psalm 37:3-5
"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." -Matthew 6:20
on the whole matter as a whole:
"Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." -Luke 12:51-53
personal thought:
when pple comment in a negative tone that "the guy now holy one" i always think, that's like the furthest thing from the truth; being devout has never been an attempt to lay claim to holiness, but rather it is the mere recognition of how so far away one is from God's standard of holiness, of one's own shamefulness and inability, to recognize that one has fallen short of his Creator's glory and to see clearly his own shortcomings. and then, to pin all his hopes on his Risen Saviour.
manchesterunited 1:21 PM
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Monday, August 04, 2008
just send my specs in to replace my lens, so i'm now either spec-less or in extreme cases i'm wearing my old army specs. but it's such a lousy fit that i'm quite determined to not wear it out for these few days haha.
bidding from the special account's underway, but i'm not particularly worried. singapore govt policy and military history shld be quite low-profile i guess.
wanted to blog since sunday night but the usual struggles that comes with blogging from the family PC's still there. thank God i've managed to keep my points with me to get them down now.
i dont really agree when pple come up to me and say that service was "good" or "bad" but yesterday it really did seem that God has spoken quite a few more words to me in that day. in the sermon i'm reminded once again that my 2 years in green arent done in vain; that loving my country and being called to die for it if need be is all part and parcel of loving my God. and sunday school, this particular verse got to me:
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." -1Cor 15:33
a good reminder to keep with me when i see old friends from the clubbing circle, and new pple that i may meet in sch that may belong to that particular grp. it doesnt mean that i avoid them like the plague, but it does mean that i'd not take in all that they say without thinking thru, and i would not be obliged to agree with their thinking or to cordone their actions that i do not feel comfortable with. i'm a hardened target of name-calling so i guess i'd live. hah. emo. but this isnt the point.
baptism! my dear rabbit's finally got himself dunked. =) i was a lil pissed at myself that i found myself at quite a lousy spot being blocked by meiyun and xiaohong, so when it's robert's turn i had to squeeze forward haha. as usual i didnt do much planning when i shared but hey eric and tracy said they like it when i was with them today (now that's another story for later, haha) so i shall try to recollect what i said.
well when i talked about robert there was a lot a lot more that i could have said but hey i was nervous lah! so i shared about that same old incident when we were at camp and we stayed up till dunno what time to dig thru the bible for a suitable verse. and God showed me 2Th 3:1, i still rmb it till now haha. and then xubobobo filled in the rest, about him being the rabbit, always serving, remembering lichuang when we were leaving thailand, and stuff.
and weiwei, it's really by the grace of God that the Holy Spirit works in her heart and leads her to Christ lah. having just finished "concise theology the previous day the terms just stayed with me so i think i wasnt really off the mark when i commented that "when God calls out to His elect, what He is offering is an irresistable grace." what i forgot to say was that well when we share the gospel and we dont really see the results, we need not be too sad or even self-accusatory, cause no one knows when the seed of the gospel will be planted, when it'd bloom, and when and by whom will the harvesting be done. so just trust in the work of the Holy Spirit, and just do what we're called by God to do.
and lihua. if anybody thought that their life was tough, they havent met xinmei and her yet. i wont have exactly wished that i was in their circumstances, you know. esp being in a highly sturctured educational framework in singapore, where the hardest struggle you had with regards to education was how to bid for modules in uni, their set of problems seem just incomprehensible. that sense of lost-ness and lack of direction, i guess i'd be pretty overwhelmed. but this two kept the faith and trust in Christ's soveriegnty and leading, such that they never had to fear cause they're happy, knowing that whatever they're going thru is exactly what a loving and caring Father has had in mind for them. i have a lot to learn from them.
jingwen, sorry! haa. but like eric said, it's better to be honest and say you have nothing to say, rather than nothing to say then still want to act and say something heh.
and yah something that i left out: i really expect a lot more things to come from this three! hahaha. that God will personally mould them to become worthy vessels in His service, and in the process bring YAF up to new heights. yep!
when i was done robert remarked that i had the "leader the feng-fan". well i didnt know what he means exactly, but i dont really think that i've been a good leader thus far. sure, i can shout at pple and command the brothers to carry chairs and shift partitions during sunday worship, but that's about it. programme planning, i suck. man-management, i'm not doing enough to stamp my authority. charisma? you must be joking.
is this precisely what God has in mind, when He calls me to such a position? God used moses' mouth to proclaim to the israelites "thou shalt not kill" when he himself's a breaker of that exact law. that he may not boast of himself but be humble, doing all things by leaning on to the leading of God. is this the lesson here that God has in mind for me as well?
and i need to start praying for my comm pple as well. everyone's bound to have their own things on their own plates and being busy and stressed and burdened, so i'm not the only one that find that i have difficulty sometimes in fulfilling my responsibilities. in fact for this past week i daresay i'm the slackest person around alr. this is the extra component to being a Christian leader, as compared to a wordly one: you care about the spiritual states of the pple you lead, and that the direction that you're leading them to is one that is pointing to Christ.
the above point on moses was actually one that rev stephen tong shared last night at his expository preaching session. the other major learning point was that we can see that moses' life was neatly divided into three phases of 40 years each; the first 40, when he was rich and leading a very shiok life in the pharoah's hsehold, the thought in his mind would have been: "i am something." 2nd phase, looking after the sheep in midian (rev tong's enactments of moses talking to sheep bleating back at him was sooooooo funny) would have him realise that "i am nothing." in the 3rd 40 years, when God used him to execute the exodus, would have him see that "God is everything"
these 3 phases can be seen in our lives as well? in my past sinful life of not knowing God i'd have been in phase one, until when i was in the army and getting questions and doubts bout life and getting into phase 2, then God calling to me and now i'm in phase three.
but being in phase 3 now doesnt mean i'm going to stay here forever. and i'm quite afraid that the analogy above would have oversimplified the gospel message so i guss you wont see me stressing too much on the point on top, but it's just an interesting link that i see now that i'm getting into the flow of things and engaging in mindless babbling. haha.
today! super funny. went to help out eric and tracy as they moved in to their new house. yay sengkang fellowship's official! met wenling at the CC.... the uncle thinks i can drive when i'm sitting in the driver's seat and asks me to go park, i was seriously tempted to try! haha. and the guy that delivered the bedframe thought i was tracy's husband, when tracy just told him 2 seconds ago that "the bedframe ah, shake-shake ah, cannot lah, my husband very fat one leh!" and all the books that came out and the fish-statue that gained practical used as a book-rest and all of tracy's JC photos and kindergarten report cards and a cardboard box dedicated to handbags. not to forget the box that had "books + frying pan". good entertainment lah all in all hehh! and i got "paid" too haha. yay free rides home from now on =D
. says:
and you better quick remove that starbucks voucher thing COS ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE USED LIKE THAT !
manchesterunited 9:29 PM
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