i paint my pictures with words, not pixels.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDaClL4spMQ&feature=rec-HM-r2

scenes from a hat!

topic: "things that you can say about your business, but not your girlfriend."

"it's open 24 hours."

"i just leased out some space to a buddy of mine at the back."

"parking at rear."

LOL! =D

manchesterunited 3:10 PM

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a haiku of thanksgiving:

four papers done with:
made possible by God's hand,
thus i'm still alive.

manchesterunited 2:13 AM

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Friday, November 28, 2008

a pre-EN1101E exam haiku:

literature majors:
emo-ness is included
in job description.

manchesterunited 1:15 AM

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

done with PS1101E. well it's really just all uphill since EC, so thanks be to God for that =)

and guess what, just finished playing bridge at the deck! so long nv play alr. miss a2. miss the game. and yeah it was just a very good healthy dose of brotherly love: lester, andrew 'no trump' fam, eddie, and zouu.

i would have had missed all this if i stayed at as1 wooden benches all my life i guess.

and this exam period, with all its attendant nonsense, has really been a growing up process for me. like how zou comforted me last night; it's a chance for me to be living out my head knowledge.

by faith i'll get through this. i hope i'll ever merit a place, or even just a lil mention, in hebrews 13 nexxxxxt time haha! =)

kay off to mug.

manchesterunited 5:42 PM

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shao: it was on religion, my pet topic. which is why i'm seriously considering a minor in religious studies now haha. yeah you're old. wooo.

(last scene of HMA, page 82-83. i'm taking some liberties to do some edits, the way i want it. hah.)

(he knocks on the door, she opens.)

he: impossible not to come.

(they say nothing. not touching. faces each other, not sure if they are looking at each other, or staring past each other instead.)

(all of a sudden she sits down. buries her head in her hands, clenches her fists, squeezes her eyes shut, and moans. a moan of utter sadness, hopelessness, despair.)

she: i'll forget you! i'm forgetting you already! look how i'm forgetting you!

(she has succeeded in drowning him in universal oblivion.)

aside: if ever adapted to a play, i volunteer to be the german soldier. =D

manchesterunited 12:26 AM

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

am blogging now at the deck, after finishing 2 papers. econs was so bad, nothing else after it can get any worse. so many blanks! and soci, i didnt really write as much as i should, a lot was empty smoke anyway, i think my essay on durkheim and marx might just marginally pass, but the other 2 are just stale marlboro smoke...

it can only get better, i hope? rawr.

manchesterunited 8:40 PM

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please remind me not to pandan ke keri/kanan next time i chepat jalan through as1 corridor haha.

wanted to blog last night but i realised i just zoned out for like 2 hours while sitting in front of the com? not good, not good.

last night sam told me on the bus, "our results are in God's hand". and i remember the axiom that i always sprout out, "God's sovereignty, man's responsibility"

after the study of genesis i have with my church, somehow my examples are always drawn from there aha. so yes, i'm reminded of Abraham, when God led him out of Ur. he must have had no idea where he's going, even though God knows, and that after all the merry-go-around, he will indeed be led somewhere.

the destination seems to be my grades, as i submit to God's leading on this wonder journey of life and other micro-events haha.

but Abraham had to make the decision to get off his ass and walk! and so i have to mug, walk the fast as i can, and glorify His name in the process as much as i can.

morning worship's so important to me now, i wonder what i'd do next tuesday, cause i end exams next monday. HAHA! my exam season kicks off today with a bang, 2 matches one after another. how exciting, that i'll be able to experience God's wonderful work in my life again.

and hey who needs alcohol when you have caffine! decided to buy myself a cuppa at harboufront starbucks, triple shot venti caffee latte no sugar added, to 1) get myself thru the day 2) give myself some comfort drink 3) exorcise some personal demons along the way. oh yes i now really can just buy one cup of coffee without breaking down at the counter heh.

manchesterunited 10:04 AM

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

eeli: sure, i'll pass you them when you pass me back my book haha, that one i want to read after exams!

shao: yep will keep you posted, i hope i'd be able to drop by maybe tonight or tomorrow.

woke up late today, emo-ed a little on the bus ride to school (yeah lai's right when she looks at my cup of latte from olio and remarks that i have no self discipline. guilty as charged, mdm.) first song in my psp that made me sit up was

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe me
Hold on to me and never let me go

-Far Away, Nickleback

listened twice, decided that i can't keep going if not i'd just fall into emo-ness again, so next track.

Look at my heart again
Look at the mess I've got it in
I'm trying to trust in You
To know that you'll see me through
Through my pride
Through my shame
Into Your love
Into Your grace
I'm not looking back
Till I see Your face
And I'm running straight to You
Because

All I really want to do is to fall into
The emptiness that is
The space in-between us
To break this division
All I really want to do is to fall into
The emptiness that is
The space in-between us
Erase it and bring us together again

My life's like an open book
Nothing is hidden when you look
You break through my boundaries
Revealing my insecurities
But through my pride
And through my shame
You show me love
You show me grace
I'm not looking back
Till I see your face
And I'm running straight to you
Because

Here I am saying I need you
I know I need you
Here I am, I'm coming to meet you
Cause I want to see you

-Space in Between Us, Building 429

i hope i keep my wits within me today in school. in lester's prayer this morning, yeap, reminder to just keep our thoughts focused on Him. i'm weak and i'll stumble and i'll forget and i'll drop back into emo-ness and lose concentration and stone and zone out but by God's grace i'll get out of this struggle soon.

manchesterunited 12:24 PM

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yes shao, thanks for the wake up call =)

just out from the shower, an assortment of thoughts. this post will look quite fragmented haha.

rmb a conversation just now with lai, huiyi, sien. the first 2 girls were just talking bout how girls sometimes become manipulative, citing their own real life examples from their histories, and trying to in the process 1) lemme not be so emo, for hey that's what girls do, so get used to it, and 2) try to assure sien that it's not THAT bad, lest they scare her off from ever entering a relationship. hoho. lai looks at me and goes "i think jerry's the kind that goes off chasing every girl he sees." i raise an eyebrow, but didnt pursue that thread. huiyi spoke up "no lah, he's not like that, i think he's too serious sometimes." i keep mum throughout.

i wonder where i fit in too, who's closer to the truth, where i am now, where i should be.

"surrender all to God." (Ho, 2008.)
i surrender all
i surrender all
all to Thee my blessed Saviour
i surrender all.

samuel has been a great source of strength and comfort to me. even when now he has his own issues bothering him, he has still taken time out for me to pray and counsel. i give thanks to God for having such a brother, and i pray that i'll be able to help him in whatever way i can too.
he's just passed me a book, Prayer by Richard Foster, and he says chapter 5 spoke to him, wonder if i'd wanna read it too. sure, why not.

it's title? the prayer of relinquishment.
it's end result is a "soul-satisfying rest", but the process, not so. (p50)
Jesus is our perfect example, as He prayed in the garden of gethsemane. (Luke 22:39-46) he prays "let this cup pass", then "not my will but yours be done".
"Here we have the incarnate Son praying through His tears and not recieving what He asks." (p50)
"Here we have the complete laying down of the human will." (p51)
"Here we have the perfect flowing into the will of the Father." (p51)
sure, it isnt easy.and thus struggle is recognize as inevitable, even needed, in reaching the decision to relinquish control to God. i'm really touched by the example of Abraham; the thoughts that went through his mind as he's tying his only son Isaac on the stake must have been a lot more emo than mine! and yet he did not waver, nor give up, nor even mope and emo, but he did what he was told, giving up his son as dead, for he trusts in the promises of God and knows that in the long run God will make good His covenant with him. and thus on p52-53 the author shares about chopping off roots that seem so dear to him, but no, put God first.
p53-54 speaks of "release with hope". relinquishing in this sense is not a hopeless act of helplessness, or in army speak, something that you just "bo pian suck thumb must do", but rather, like the example of Abraham above, be done with a hope that comes in the future, trusting in the Lord. the thing that we let go off might just come back to us straightaway (John 12:24, dying first to have new life), like how Isaac did, but even when it didnt, have hope that something better's along the way.

at this point personally i do have some problems; in my small faith, i see what i have as already the best that i can ask for, and thus i do not dare to let go of it. maybe therein lies my struggle.

but the bigger point: the crucifixion of the will. it's not about what i judge, what i think, but what God has in mind for me, submitting to that wholeheartedly. out goes criterias and considerations and emotional tests and charts and prediction quizzes. it's just God as my only source of guidiance for me now, my pillar of cloud and fire at this juncture that i'm so lost, that i allow His Word to be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

this is a long process, and nobody said it's going to be easy, but (let me tinker with coldplay's lyrics haha) with God's grace, i wont say that it's too hard. amen!

tracy's in labour! something wrong with umbilical cord so had to be induced, ps eric sounds a lil tired when i called just now. praying for health of both mother and child. just as well, i wont have missed this due to anntic then =P

engaged in serious retail therapy on sunday (but it didnt really worked tsk), had no mood to announce to world over emo-ness, but now that i've got it under control shall publicise here. again, anyone wants anything, dont paiseh just ask! half of them are classics that i've already read, but i still bought because 1) my sister ain't read them yet, tsk tsk, 2) they'd look good on my future bookshelf in my future stylo-milo bachelor pad harhar, 3) cause borders had 20% off.

ian rankin, doors open.
neil gaiman, american gods.
yann martel, life of pi.
amy tan, the joy luck club.
harper lee, to kill a mockingbird.
oscar wilde, the picture of dorian gray.
arthur miller, death of a salesman.

okay that's all folks, see you guys at 10am at the deck and start off our day right =)

manchesterunited 12:12 AM

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Monday, November 24, 2008

thanks to everyone who tried to drag me out of my emo-ness and cheer me up! but as lai says, sometimes one will just refuse to be cheered. i'm sorry, i'd try harder! =)

morning worship's becoming a very important thing for me now. starts the day right, in focus. lest i'm not sure how to continue living for the rest of the day.

studying with sien now, it's quite strange to look into her screen and see chemistry stuff haha! great dinner with zou and fam, and then the rest of the exco muggers. hui-en is super good at nagging lah. in lester i have another male presence haha. not forgetting liz my emo buddy and grace the pseudo-suicide bomber, with her food stuffed into her jacket heh. and the adventures of ky, who is sitting opposite me now, can be written into a book lah heh. and she just asked me bout "murphy's law" hoho.

i will survive.

manchesterunited 8:33 PM

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What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life
What if I got it wrong
And no poet or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in you life

Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, try to hold it inside
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
How can you know it, if you don't even try
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That's the risk that you take

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life
That you don't want me there by your side

Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, try to hold it inside
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
How can you know when you don't even try
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right

-What If, Coldplay

manchesterunited 12:02 AM

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

yeah, i did promise, no emotional blackmail.

but still.

it's tough to keep the smile up.

mug? huh? oh yeah i use that to drink my coffee yes. buy one from starbucks for me yah?

enough? of what? is it ever?

congratulations, it's the end of this module.
can i not end it?
does it make a difference?
so what?
why, why not, why why not, why not why?

"I never knew perfection till
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that I’m insane

The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word it should say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break

Saw you sitting all alone
You’re fragile and you’re cold, but that’s all right
Life these days is getting rough
They’ve knocked you down and beat you up
But it’s just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break, baby" -Maroon 5, Better That We Break.

manchesterunited 12:49 AM

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Friday, November 21, 2008

it's been a day that emotionally, to be honest, i haven't been feeling exactly fantastic, but still i want to count my blessings. indeed, while i give thanks to God in happy times, it is in unfortunate circumstances that i'm given the chance to cling on to my faith, walk through the Refiner's fire, learn and grow in the Lord through this, and indeed have confidence and hope, for i know for sure that now, in His timing, i'll see God's hand wonderfully at work, turning this seemingly negative event into something that is ultimately for His glory. =)

started off the day right, with a nice cuppa kaffe and a very good praise and prayer session. being among brothers and sisters, dedicating the day to God, was a wondrous experience indeed, and the little sleep that was lost to get to sch earlier was very much paid back in full with interest. =) hopes this continues next week! sang the song in the previous post, learnt it when i was serving in FT (ahh gloria you shld have been here with us!) and it was such a timely, appropraite reminder that my God is my Counselor, Comforter, and Keeper, and that He has, is, always will be there for me.

what a wonderful promise that is. =)

then it was back to mugging, i chose to stay at the upper deck after worship. made use of lai's econs knowledge to try and practise some MCQs, but hey, LDMR set in haha! but her nagging helped to delay its effects haha. yap xiong's hardworking-ness made us guilty and served to motivate us on. yen's listening ear and sneaky comment on my iTunes habits gave me comfort. minrui and zou are fantastic lunch kakis, with random conversations, fantastic desserts (AFFO GATO!!! i seriously dont mind drowning in coffee =D), and of course, the big fiasco with my facebook relationship status. hoho. and jonas, for his valiant attempts to bring me joy and laughter through his recommendations on youtube. indeed when i'm laughing bout such stuff, my mind's forced to stop churning see.

i look back at the sem, today's mugging included, and i really give thanks for all these CF-ers that i can call friends, brothers and sisters. =) of course all the rest that arent included in the paragraph above dont be sad lah haha, you're included as well. i know full well that i'm not exactly the easiest person in the world to get along with, with my weaknesses and downfalls and quirks and what-nots, but it is because God first loved us, that we can learn to accept one another for who we are. and the earlier we start the better, since we're going to be stuck with each other for eternity up in heaven anyway haha =D

today's BS in church was a great help as well. looking at genesis, the story of joseph, how he's sold and suffered and maligned and yet thru all these shit he goes through, God works through the whole narrative to bring about the perfect ending.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

and thus i'd end this post with this song.

He Knows. (Phillip P. Bliss, 1876)

1. i know not what awaits me, God kindly veils my eyes,
and o'er each step of my onward way, He makes new scenes to rise
and every joy He sends me, comes a sweet and glad surprise.

(Chorus)
where He may lead me, i'll follow
my trust in Him repose,
and every hour in perfect peace i'll sing He knows, He knows;
and every hour in perfect peace i'll sing He knows, He knows.

2. one step i see before me, 'tis all i need to see,
the light of Heav'n more brightly shines, when earth's illusions flee;
and sweetly through the silence, came His loving "follow Me".

3. oh blissful lack of wisdom, 'tis blessed not to know;
He holds me with His own right hand, and will not let me go,
and lulls my troubled soul to rest, in Him who love me so.

4. so on i go not knowing, i would not if i might;
i'd rather walk in the dark with God than go alone in the light;
i'd rather walk in faith with Him, than go alone by sight.

(last chorus)
where He may lead me, i'll follow
my trust in Him repose,
and every hour in perfect peace i'll sing He knows, He knows;
and every hour in perfect peace i'll sing He knows, He knows.

He knows, He knows, He knows.

manchesterunited 11:34 PM

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Wonderful mericiful Savior
E        F            G  
Precious redeemer and friend
Am            G           F          
Who would have thought that a lamb could
C/G          G     Am    F      C/G           G    C
Rescue the souls of men,  Oh You rescue the souls of men

Counselor, comforter, keeper
Spirit we long to embrace
You offer hope when our hearts have
Hopelessly lost the way,  Oh we hopelessly lost the way

Am         G         F    G 
You are the One that we praise
Am         G       F    G
You are the One we adore
Am         G           F     
You give the healing and grace our
C/G          G     Am  F            C/G         G   C
Hearts always hunger for, Oh our hearts always hunger for

Almighty infinite father
Faithfully loving Your own
Herein our weakness You find us
Falling before Your throne, Oh we're falling before Your throne

manchesterunited 11:18 AM

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i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.
i will not engage in emotional blackmail.

manchesterunited 12:56 AM

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

i LURVE 'scenes from a hat' from 'whose line is it anyway' hahahaha =D

manchesterunited 11:37 PM

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a whirl in my mind now.

i donch know if it's my body's down that's why i feel down, or because i feel down and thus my body's down.

oh, ye of lil faith.

had a sucky choir practice today. got all the notes wrong. and conveniently in my mind, so poisoned, that i just blamed yaoqi for it, bringing me off. but i know i cannot be totally blameless, i shld be able to get it right even if i'm standing next to a sop. just this feeling of frustration, and intense tiredness. slept almost all the way in ps eric's car ride home.

but after shower, usual, too much thinking, wet dripping hair now i sit blogging. ranting. saying too much, not meaning too much. the boy who abuses the word 'honesty' with his mouth is not keeping it in his mind.

i really give thanks for having samuel as a listening ear during this period. all of you, keep your hands off him. rawr!

manchesterunited 10:36 PM

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Results

Silhouette of a man

We think http://ruudvannistelrooy100.blogspot.com/ is written by a man (62%).

according to http://genderanalyzer.com/ haha thanks suz!

manchesterunited 12:38 AM

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Monday, November 17, 2008

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Christian Quote of the Day - November 16, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Topic for Today: Feelings

The great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not.

Lewis, C. S.

manchesterunited 9:51 PM

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quote of the day!

"you never know, miranda could be some chao ah lian..." -limmy, on The Tempest

manchesterunited 8:31 PM

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i wonder how i can ever get things done so fast when i was at my desk in SPH oh-so-long ago.

*rants against the monster of procrastination*

manchesterunited 7:29 PM

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Sunday, November 16, 2008

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." -1John 4:7-21, italics my own.

sermon text for today, something for me to pray and ponder upon tonight.

Christian Quote of the Day - November 15, 2008
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Topic for Today: Christian Living

If we do not die to ourselves, we cannot live to God, and he that does not live to God, is dead.

MacDonald, George

manchesterunited 11:04 PM

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"Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball" -Cannonball, Damien Rice.

"our love was/
comfortable and/
so broken in" -Comfortable, John Mayer.

i keep saying the wrong things.

why, and why not. yes, why not?

hmmm.

i fear liking the wrong person, yes i do. but equally, i fear missing and losing the right person.

where's the answer?

where's God in this?

i'm not emo. at least i hope not. but i do want to know what's going on in the grand scheme of things. and since i can't, i need to learn to lean upon God's leading.

my Lord, where is Thy hand?

study, study. everything else can wait, i guess.

you all on the tagboard: thanks for all your prayer support, i really appreciate it. =)

manchesterunited 8:57 PM

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#2: nah, you'd suck as a shoulder. i'd break my back trying to reach your height in the process.... hurhur.

eeli: yes you better send me. altho i wonder how you're gonna do that when i dont come online haha!

when i told myself i needed a break, as in the mental/emotional sense, i think my body took it literally! i was asleep from ytd after dinner (est. 7pm+) until this morning bout 8am? this is absurd haha.

and yes time to stop this emo-ing and off to worship my God this morning. =)

manchesterunited 8:25 AM

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

eeli: send me the song lah, you emo song queen.

just back from playing soccer. and the shower's a real good place to sort out your thoughts. i've talked bout that before haven't i haha.

not a very good game for me personally, i guess, even tho the weather was nice and cool.

age is relative man. i feel young or old depending on who's around. and during soccer i felt super old. all this young kids from yuying sec... with their bags of tricks and speed and most importantly, that no-fear attitude that comes from being young, and thinking that they've alr seen the world and knew enough to survive.

best not to burst that bubble haha.

and so i missed a sitter in front of an open goal (everyone else was talking bout rooney during the break hah) and bled after taking a "pass" in the face. my specs cut my nose and thus it was quite a spectacular sight. the guys just had to clap when i came back from the toilet, washing my wound.

didnt do too bad as a keeper tho. taking shots, being blasted, feeling the pain. and feeding off the frustration of the young kids when for a period of time they just couldnt get anything past me haha.

all this pain that i've took during the match somehow didnt feel very painful for me; in a warped sense, i think i enjoyed it. a kind of release, sense of liberation, of forgetting whatever's going thru my mind, like a sort of mental purge.

i don't know what to think anymore. time for me to really just go back to God and accept Him, not on my own terms. i'm tired. i need a shoulder, a support, i really do. time to drop the tough-guy facade and, in a sense, be honest again. i'm not some robot that can just keep going; i have my failings and needs and wants and what-nots.

sigh. time to stop this stream of emo-ness and have lunch haha =D

manchesterunited 1:04 PM

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

the space in between us-a gulf that is naturally there, or artificially imposed?

alone again, naturally-sounds true on a certain level but not so on another. how does it fit in, into the realm of the rational or the emotional?

"i've tried so hard and got so far,

but in the end, it doesn't even matter."

manchesterunited 2:32 PM

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batty: i'm just bored. you can drop random topics too haha.

Soviet: oh wells, shows that literature's not always about being nice. =X

long day, just wanna crash. hmmm. exams, exams. tsk.

manchesterunited 1:05 AM

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Monday, November 10, 2008

poetry challenge 2. topic: stuffed toys.

of cartoon characters, absurd and strange.
that captures imagination, and monetary gain.
children love them, can't live without them,
brings them everywhere, with ever-tender care.
an idol, it watches over the child in his slumber,
after the child has laid it on its altar.
this cycle goes on, day and night,
until the child grows, his intellect bright.
stuffed toys becomes historic fact,
it's memory gone, not a trace left.

lousy structure, not very well done yeah, just paying a lot more attention to rhythm and rhyme, how it'd sound when read out loud. enjoy! =)

manchesterunited 11:32 PM

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Friday, November 07, 2008

poetry challenge. topic: instant noodles.

Instant noodles;

Now, right now,

Serves a purpose

That is up to

Anyone's guesses, whatever your

Normal (or maybe not so normal)

Thoughts lead you to.

Nothing prepares you for this; the chemicals

Oozes out from the wax-coated strings, like

Organisms struggling in the water, only their

Deaths to look forward to.

Life of the meaningless,

Exuding the sense of hopelessness. oh well,

Shit happens.

i think the last line sucks HAHA! but oh well, "i've tried my best and i've no regrets at all" (Hung, date not important.) =P

this time of the night,

when hunger strikes you real hard,

yep, instant noodles.

manchesterunited 1:16 AM

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a short round-up of today

school: PS lecture, lunch, lit tut, econs tut. lecture wasn't particularly interesting until Nietzsche's name came up, and then i paid just that little more attention haha. collected ps2249 essay, the one that i put in the most effort for, bee plus. rawr. lunch, it was great to have eeli and limmy join the usual gang of liz, #2 and i. lit tut, nothing much, but got reminded again of how important it is to choose my words carefully. econs tut, disastrous, i couldn't catch anything. jialat. really my first, last, only econs module in my whole career. haha.

church: reached early, managed to have a lil more progress on editing darius' article. had a talk with auntie biqing where my flaws from yesterday were revisited, and we discussed a little regarding my ministry for the coming year.

should i stay on as yaf chair? the overwhelming response/pressure (whichever way you look at it) is yes, i should. rationally i think i should too, for a variety of reasons. and i don't think i will actually step down in order to devote more time to vcf, as God has not led me to a clear serving position in vcf just yet, or even the burden to start on a particular standing comm or whatever capacity.

i'll need prayer support as i make my decision, not for my own whims and purposes, but so that i will submit wholeheartedly to His leading and direction.

it's a blessing to be able to serve in choir; even though i suck, i have a lot of fun! and i do feel blessed to have the chance to learn how to appreciate sacred music, how such timeless classics have been allowed to stay throughout the ages, because of their ability to so powerfully express God's attributes and love. i do hope that such a tradition can continue for generations to come.

plans for tml: driving lesson at 2pm, then off to church to help out with the visit of elder chen, editor of the european momentum, the publication of STEMI in europe, that ministers to chinese emigrants there. should be quite a fulfilling experience i hope. =)

manchesterunited 12:47 AM

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Christian Quote of the Day - November 4, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Topic for Today: Obediance: Importance

God does not give us his power so that we might feel good about ourselves; he gives us his power so that we can obey him for his sake, for his glory.

Bridges, Jerry

apt start to my post today i guess; partly to give thanks for all that i've been blessed with today, and partly to remind myself of my weaknesses and how to move on from here.

it's always nice to be able to just bump into CF-ers and have lunch, today's with BossCat, liz and jonas. and when you walk around and you can see familiar faces and wave hi to, i really appreciate the fact that it is the friends that God has placed in my life here in school that makes it so much more easier to deal with problems that inevitably come along; and since it's school-related problems, your friends in school would be the ones naturally that would be able to relate to you. and things like encouraging each other on when it's time to chiong for essays/tests/presentations and now the final exams, their presence has indeed been a very big blessing to me. =)

today in prayer meet in church, it was my first time trying my hand out at interpreting. it is not as easy as one makes it out to be; and it goes a lot more than just translating from chinese to english. not that i've done very well actually, but the feedback i got was, not the bad for the first-timer. and so i left church thinking hey, actually i've done not too badly, letting the praises that i got from people get to my head.

you know what's worse than someone getting proud at what he does? someone getting proud at something that is not even to be worthy of getting proud over. in fact i think it's downright ridiculous. which was exactly what i've done.

i'm thankful that mr and mrs guan bothered to give me real, honest feedback of my shortcomings lah, and in that sense pulled me back down to earth.

speed: i'm still too fast.

articulation: because of my speed, i rush, and thus words don't come out clearly. i shared that i felt bad if i make the speaker wait; but what tracy said's true too, that i am responsible for the comfort of the english-listener, letting him feel that he is listening to the message first hand. by extension, i realised that it means that i should not have the feeling that i'm somehow inferior to the speaker; but as an interpreter, lose my own identity, and take on the role of the interpreter fully, as if i am the speaker, giving the message with the same power and clarity, and that the only difference, is the language. this is a big lesson haha.

posture/conduct: i'm really a hypocrite man haha. was still going on and on about presentation skills last night with jiajun, end up i didn't do any of it just now: didn't even stand up straight, make eye contact with the crowd that i'm addressing, keep looking downwards or at my Bible or at Rev Lai to catch his words and being so afraid at losing the words.......

all in all, a humbling experience. i do give thanks for having this blessing in serving God in such a way, i also want to remember that i'm not doing this based on my own ability or wit or my own prideful boast that i'm "effectively bilingual" (a myth which has been painfully exposed today).

we learn something new everyday =)

manchesterunited 11:50 PM

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ky: london bridges says:
but people just throw christian advice and hope your pain will dwindle with the number of verses you get

jay.ee.arh.arh.why. our God is mighty, worthy of all praising. says:
instead of throwing verses at you i'll learn to remember them in front of God, and claim His promises as i pray for you lar
ky: london bridges says:
you're quite awesome leh. hahahahaha
jay.ee.arh.arh.why. our God is mighty, worthy of all praising. says:
i'm going to quote you LOL

from now on it'd become "you're quite awesome leh!" (KY Ho, 2008)

hoho.

edit:
ky: london bridges says:
anw it's Ho, 2008
bad citation

manchesterunited 1:59 AM

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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

"Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish."

-Psalm 1.

the sermon text of john piper, of which his podcast i've just listened to. plus the lesson i've had in the morning, (thanks #2) i'm in a, i think, pensive and pondering and subdued mood today.

"God is most glorified in us when we're most satisfied in Him." amen to that!

manchesterunited 1:22 PM

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"we all learn to love each other in our own little ways
and through learning to love each other, we learn more about ourselves" (#2, 2008)

manchesterunited 12:31 PM

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a post of thanksgiving.

today has been quite a long day, having slept the previous day at 4am to do essay, waking up at 8.30am to come to sch only because #2 remembered to gimme morning call; if not, i'd have slept on after pressing the snooze button at 8am. waking up to the sight of her face flashing on my phone's not too bad a way to start the day off i guess haha.

met bryan on the train! just so happens that he stepped right in from the door i was in; what're the odds of that haha. good entertainment up NEL. saw bus 10 when i was at the road, ran after it, made it on time for force india lecture haha. nothing much for the rest of the day i guess, just that the fact that even though i'm visibly tired, i still feel generally okay.

even lit lecture was really good; again am convinced that Hiroshima Mon Amour is a text that holds so much possibilities, points, imaginations, discussions, and how it connects to myself, and the human condition.

CG was really very meaningful today, second time i've done this, first was at yaf camp before sch started; each of us had a piece of paper, and we wrote well wishes and encouragements for each other, in view of the coming exam period. it was a great expression of how Christ's love is evident in our CG lah, as we think back of how He has led us the past sem, and how we've all grown together in Him; there're still imprefections and problems, of course, but we learn, and by His grace and might, we will overcome.

supper with porridge, shenkiat, huiyi. supper is fun with a big crowd lah, but today i'm just as happy with the small group; we really shared about our problems and to hear each other out, advice one another, like huiyi's problem about the direction of her youths, and my classmate problem that porridge alr knew about. am encouraged by that lah.

and most importantly, that i can sleep easy tomorrow, catch up on readings, before the exam comes. wooosh.

manchesterunited 1:02 AM

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Monday, November 03, 2008

batty: nope nobody running around. but there were scenes of the victims, all the disfiguration and stuff. yup depressing stuff. it's not an easy watch but i felt it was a very challenging process... the little sharing i had with 3 other friends when we stepped out of the LT was very useful; we cleared up each others doubts and gave each other more food for thought, so i was very thankful for that.

shao: too free ah you haha.

chionging essay. tough, but give me this when i was in the army, i'd have taken this any day. =)

manchesterunited 1:34 AM

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