Tuesday, December 30, 2008
eeli and jonas: haha okay i will, dont worry. not tonight tho, am gonna sleep after i'm done with this.
today has been a physically tiring, yet spiritually very refreshing day. not that i did anything explicitly Christian, but God does work in mysterious ways that we can never fanthom.
couldnt sleep very well last night, due to all the thoughts that were going on in my head. met my anntic grp for lunch! only weishan wasnt around, but hey, 90% attendance, what more can i ask for haha! thanks sam, for putting in so much effort into organising this. =)
of course we crapped, but it was relaxing, a chance for me to unwind, as we cracked lame jokes and just enjoy the good food and each other's company at coffee club. evelyn still doesnt talk much! LOL. drank a cup of iced latte with an extra shot here, but it wasnt very good. no caffine rush haha.
it was at coffee bean (no not my idea altho i heartily approved the venue HAHA), as everyone shared their thanksgiving and plans for next year that got me thinking and reflecting, and ultimately, getting closer to see how God might chart my path ahead.
firstly, it really reminded me again of the definition of 'church'. altho we each have our lil differences (ordinances vs sacraments, immersion vs sprinkling, charismatic vs conservative), the love for God and His kingdom is universal. am really reminded that my God is not just the God of my church or the God of my pastors, but much much more than that, He is the God of nations. it is of no accident that God has led us to our respective faculties and CGs, and used cf-ers around us to greatly bless us in all areas, be it studies, spiritually, etc.
am reminded of another incident at the airport last night, when i found myself sending off gerick and riko with sk and grace. through gary's briefing on the work of the city harvest people towards the sm3 students, and later through sk's sharing with a fren of their work of sharing the gospel with riko, we realise that God's ways are so much more higher than ours; we might be doing whatever we're doing, yet it is not the only approach that God uses to reach out to the peopl that He wants to call; there's always the possibility that unknown to us, there could be other people working on it as well. am reminded of this portion of scripture there and then:
"Teacher," said John, "we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us." "Do not stop him," Jesus said. "No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward. -Mark 9:38-41
so who's to say that your current ministry in which you are involved in is the only valid one? i think this is what i feel, when it comes to the way the word "church" is used by my pastors. my point being, there is no absolute better or worse position to be serving the kingdom of God in, only which one that God has called one to.
and i do notice that, when i look at the seniors, that serving in cf for their uni years is a precious chance for them: time is really limited. and, with lester, i see that the time in cf has proved to be good for him, having grown spiritually, so that he could be better in serving in church, which he currently looks forward to when his tour of duty as cf chair ends.
frankly, i am quite inspired by everyone in my group actually hahah. altho everyone's a crapper, they do have a serious side that i learn very much from.
i've lost my train of thought lah ahhaa. but hey, i am that one step closer to knowing my direction for 2009, and it looks more and more that vcf's the way to go, as compared to yaf. they need not be mutually exclusive tho, just as lester has shared with me on the bus trip back from cameron. but i do need a lot more illumination, on how i'm going to carry this thru practically. and for wisdom and mercy and forgiveness on my pastor's part, as we try and work out the future of yaf, one that i'll be given a break in.
manchesterunited 11:28 PM
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Monday, December 29, 2008
The Christian soldier must avoid two evils—he must not faint or yield in the time of fight, and after a victory he must not wax insolent and secure. When he has overcome, he is so to behave himself as though he were presently again to be assaulted. For Satan's temptations, like the waves of the sea, do follow one in the neck of the other.
Downame, George
a soldier i am: my ORD's only when the Lord comes again, or calls me home.
am in the fight right now, pray that i'll have the strength to not faint or yield.
manchesterunited 10:57 PM
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thanks be to God for putting siblings-in-Christ online tonight to listen to my rantings. yeap, that's you! (eeli, yuan, yen and xiong.)
says a lot when you count where i know these people from, but nvm.
am in a lil cynical mood now? okay maybe not so extreme, but still am struggling with my church ministry, how i'm going about it now.
i know it is a blessing to serve. and i get joy out of being in the choir, writing, interpreting. these things, i have no problem, i do with great joy and enthusiasm. even though i'm not good at any of them, there are people better than me who are also doing it.
it is yaf that's getting to me now, as it has always been. i'm tired and burnt out over all the events that are always coming, and keeps coming. i derive no joy from serving as the chair, and i find myself pushing myself, and pushing things thru mechanically. and yet i dont see anyone else that i can pass the baton on to.
to keep on doing it now would be to tempt the devil, and when i fall, i will pull the whole fellowship along with it.
to abdicate now would be to leave the fellowship in a blur, without knowing who's going to be the next person to take over.
i can either trust in the Lord to grant me strength and wisdom to lead, or for Him to raise up someone in the fellowship in such a way that i can safely pass it on to him/her.
what's God's will in this? various reasonings and scenarios are playing around in my head, and i can most probably play with them all day.
i'll need a lot of prayer support on this. thanks. =)
manchesterunited 2:27 AM
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As the apple is not the cause of the apple tree, but a fruit of it: even so good works are not the cause of our salvation, but a sign and a fruit of the same.
Cawdray, Daniel
it's been a tiring period, i hope this quote serves as a motivation for myself to keep going in my various ministries.
manchesterunited 12:51 AM
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Tuesday, December 23, 2008
EC1101: B-
EN1101: B
PS2249: B-
PS1101: B
SC1101: B-
CAP: 3.2
okay, so i didnt screw up as badly as i thought for econs, but my GPS and lit, i thought it could be higher. oh well, what God has given me is good enough for me i guess =)
38 demerit points for driving test today! killer was when i found myself in the middle of a traffic junction.... long story. no confidence at all, jittery and stuff, committing silly mistakes that i would not have done in a normal lesson.
i guess i've strayed a lil away from God in this period.
bright point today: meeting up with the 3 GAs =)
manchesterunited 11:47 AM
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Monday, December 22, 2008
Jesus is Better than Santa
Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year
JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited
JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. and then enters your heart.
You have to stand in line to see Santa
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?"
JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly
JESUS has a heart full of love.
All Santa can offer is HO HO HO
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
Santa says "You better not cry"
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.
Santa's little helpers make toys
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
Santa may make you chuckle but
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.
It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is still the reason for the season.
*source: peijun's email =)
manchesterunited 11:03 PM
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plan for tml: TP test, then 20SA gathering for bowling.
hmmm. i wonder what would my mood be when i meet derek chaisen jiawei. HAHA.
manchesterunited 10:20 PM
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Saturday, December 20, 2008
lester's email is a very big and somber reminder about life in general. the fact that one can lose one's eyesight and yet, thru it, fix his sights even more firmly on Jesus, is something that i need to learn very much. and how, when in a circumstance that i personally would have flipped out, he's still trusting the Lord; it's more than theory now. i'm not sure if i can do it myself.
hmmmm. reflective mood now.
manchesterunited 11:20 PM
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Friday, December 19, 2008
jonas says:
next year i wil organise
an artsy chrsitmas
law got christmas party
jay.ee.arh.arh.why. the brothers karamazov. says:
euu say one ah
jonas says:
we dun have!!
sure can one
find someone's house
then go!
or go somewhere la
sure can one
jay.ee.arh.arh.why. the brothers karamazov. says:
okay steady
jonas says:
haah
u can take my word man
can even save this convo!
jay.ee.arh.arh.why. the brothers karamazov. says:
sureee
okay lah nv save, only blog bout it only =D
manchesterunited 11:35 PM
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just came back from the airport, second time picking up the SM3 students from china! i'm just glad to see gary in action, the way he's taking charge of this whole thing and to really show care and concern for the students; it's been a revelation to me lah, to have such a big heart, to share the love of Christ with them and just be friends with people that are new here.
i find it quite funny that a lot of them assume that i'm from china too! when i said i'm local they'll be quite puzzled, like what am i doing there haha!
being busy with stuff means that i wont be able to help gary out as much as i like to, but i hope CF-ers will be more proactive and be willing to give gary a hand; after all this is not his affair alone, but this should be a collective VCF effort, aye? =)
manchesterunited 12:59 AM
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
in my email today:
"Due to limited number of vacant rooms, we are unable to offer you an NUS Student accommodation for Semester 2, AV2008/2009."
oh wells.
manchesterunited 2:34 AM
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Monday, December 15, 2008
mental note to self: not to buy fried stuff for supper.
seriously, it's no joke to eat cold chicken cutlet and fries. oh well.... or maybe, i shouldnt go online on MSN first, before eating my supper. heh!
manchesterunited 2:09 AM
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Sunday, December 14, 2008
am back! not ready to blog bout anntic i guess, still need some time to digest and go thru everything. but i guess i shld come up with a reflections of sorts, cause today in church everyone TOOK TURNS to ask me "so how was your camp?" and i had to keep repeating myself haha. and even i myself wasnt really satisfied with the kinda answers i'm giving... yeah.
am at some smelly coffeeshop at holland v now, leeching somebody's wireless, leeching electricity from the coffeeshop, drinking teh peng, as i'm typing this. i hope minrui isnt late! we're bringing so young (the korean girl from ifg that came for monday CG once) to rev tong's christmas gospel rally. =)
manchesterunited 5:47 PM
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Sunday, December 07, 2008
okay, goodbye world! see you all on the 13th then =D
manchesterunited 5:46 PM
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Saturday, December 06, 2008
"Let us then ascribe the whole work of grace to the pleasure of God's will. God did not choose us because we were worthy, but by choosing us He makes us worthy."
Watson, Thomas
am packing! trying to, at any rate. anntic anntic =D
manchesterunited 9:44 PM
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okay tentative list of mods for next sem
PH2211 philosophy of religion
SE1101E south east asian studies exposition
PS2203 ancient western political thought
EN2111 reading british/world texts
SC2204 social inequalities: who gets ahead?
i might drop the soci mod for another lit mod though. or maybe just take another lit mod, pushing the workload up to six mods. am not really counting if i might use up too many UEs, or whether i can stay on an extra sem to finish up or not.... but i dont mind, cause i'm here to learn and not just for that piece of paper, see. wonder if my folks' wallet can support that kinda thinking though HAHA
manchesterunited 3:00 PM
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short reflection, in the midst of working on NS article in church:
i'm a lousy testimony everytime i go play soccer with my sec sch frens; i just cant help myself, uttering vulgarities as if i'm back to being a 15, 16 year old.
i dont really find any joy serving in church.... i dont know if that's the way i should feel, but yes that's how i feel.if bravo quebec wants a dog that comes and goes at her every beck and call, she can go and find herself another chairperson; i dont think i've reached breaking point yet, but it aint far off.
anntic, anntic. come quick, bring me away to cameron.
manchesterunited 2:43 PM
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aint feeling well. caught the flu bug today.
and the feeling of running outta time for the NS booklet really sucks.
i need sleep.
manchesterunited 12:42 AM
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Thursday, December 04, 2008
am in church catching up on paperwork now.
driving was horrible again... feeling sick, hope it's nothing more than just carrot cake and heatiness and related ailments.
i need more sleep... tsk.
and i'm almost done with ian rankin's 'doors open' (explains my msn nick haha) rankin's really good at keeping the suspense going and stuff! cool, my kinda author. =)
manchesterunited 4:21 PM
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having fried carrot cake as supper last night: not a very smart move. i'm feeling quite shitty now. nose and throat's linked lah, no wonder they have ENT specialists. wonder how i'll survive choir later. tskk.
manchesterunited 12:49 PM
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Wednesday, December 03, 2008
a lame joke did the trick in this lil discussion i had over msn with a friend:
there was this scientist that invented a machine that could create man
so he challenged God to a showdown
God said okay,
so He went first, took soil from the ground, did the works, tada, made a man.
so the scientist said my turn, but just as he was bending down to reach for some soil,
God said, wait, make your own soil.
hurhur.
and well it isnt really true that "there is no such thing as faith"
i mean, you have your faith in science as well? isnt that a kinda faith too?
manchesterunited 11:53 PM
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and yeap, am confirmed that i'll be yaf chair for another year. sorry vcf, guess i wont be taking up a permanent post anytime soon. not for AY 08/09, at least.
manchesterunited 6:07 PM
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driving today was rawr. rusty from being 2 weeks of mugging and thus no driving and lack of sleep and caffine meant that i had a lot of near-misses today. thank God i'm still alive here, but i dont really feel ready for the test! rawr.
am in church now, just realised that with this NS booklet being long overdue and anntic coming up, i'm not as free and easy as i thought.
need to pia! need your prayers, my dear reader. =)
manchesterunited 4:37 PM
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kbox session has been really emo today haha! thanks, eeli and becca, for putting up with my nonsense and lousy singing haha.
"When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part"
"But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know"
okay i picked the second song haha but the first shows that eeli is indeed the queen of emo songs haha.
great dinner too, hope minrui posts the pictures up soon! =)
manchesterunited 12:35 AM
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Tuesday, December 02, 2008
eeli says:
brb!
then i read her nick: "i'm watching tv till 11! so i guess it's not really a brb"
well done lah LOL.
manchesterunited 10:24 PM
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it's strange, now that exams are over, things from my course stays with me. and the irritating part is, i dont remember such things while i'm seated at the exam hall o.O but hey i guess it's a good thing that i'm not studying just for exams, but am learning about this world and collecting useful knowledge that will help me be a better vessel in the service of my Lord.
the incident that stuck with me was from ps2249, when we learnt of how, when the Barisan Socialis made the fatal mistake of not contesting in that particular GE (the date escaped me but hey exams are over! =D), instead choosing to "take the fight to the streets", and thus the PAP was able to sweep into power and use the law to put the BS away. there, some say, started, or at least cemented, PAP's continued hegemony in singapore politics.
am i seeing parallels when i shouldnt actually? i dunno. haha.
manchesterunited 10:25 AM
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ky: doubting thomas says:
need study
haha
watching heroes
HAHA
jay.ee.arh.arh.why. You offer hope when our hearts have/hopelessly lost the way. says:
LOL
sia lah what module is that ah, watch heroes!
ky: doubting thomas says:
SW5002
how to save the world
haha
jay.ee.arh.arh.why. You offer hope when our hearts have/hopelessly lost the way. says:
LOL
well done lah! =D conver of the day haha
manchesterunited 12:14 AM
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Monday, December 01, 2008
yay exams are over. =)
okay day i guess, not much last min mugging, last morning worship session personally, tml kbox!
who needs a flashbang grenade when you have kahyoke with you lah =D
and lester, i dont anyhow display my rugby tackle powers one lah haha.
even the hairdresser knows i'm emo-ing... crack stupid jokes just to make me laugh... it seems like i've left my troubles behind me along with my hair too.
nice dinner, from the curry shop at compass point =)
no matter that i didnt get anything done, nothing to do anyway. boredom is not so fantastic too actually. read, read.
i hope my sense of closure is real.
manchesterunited 11:37 PM
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(after morning worship today, spend a lil QT after lunch.)
"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love" -Psalm 6:2-4
manchesterunited 12:29 PM
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it's been a weekend of zero productivity and pseudo-holiday mood.
sat, watched "amazing grace." i like chris tomlin's song more and more =D
today, minrui came for rev tong's session! shen kiat, we're waiting for you. =D
tml, last paper. wooo. scold PAP only. hehh.
yinghui just jio-ed me to take ps2203, ancient western political thought. any takers?
in a related note, i'm thinking of saying goodbye to soci... i've got nothing against it, but i just feel that i like lit and pol sci and religious studies minor just that lil more, and thus by virtue of elimination i've got to take that into consideration. but of course if there's a SC mod in the list for religious studies i'll take it lah =)
manchesterunited 12:09 AM
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